No more anonymous commenting.

Yeah, so I've basically forgotten about this blog for what, three or four years now? But I still get emailed comments that I get, and lately I've been getting a lot of spam comments, particularly on my review of Ecotopia. It's been annoying going in and deleting them all the time, so I'm blocking anonymous commenting. Sorry everyone (emphasis on the "one" at the end.) You'll need at least an OpenID now to comment.

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum."
Section 1.10.32 of "de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum", written by Cicero in 45 BC

"Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut

labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam, nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur? Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum qui dolorem eum fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?"

Charlie Bone and the Hidden King by Jenny Nimmo

I am skipping working on ochem right now to post, because I have the warm fuzzy feeling of just having finished a good book, and needed to write about it. Even if everything tied up a little too neatly at the end, it's still happymaking because I can pretend that that's how it really would have gone. And who knows, maybe it would have.

So, this is the last book in the series *sniff* I do wish it had a bit more after the dramatic climax, or an epilogue type thing, although I understand why it ended where it did. Man, these books are so awesome. Even if they are total harry potter ripoffs, it's a ripoff with a different setting and new characters and new plots, if that makes any sense. I should mention though: dude, a mirror that you can communicate with someone with. Did anyone else think of Sirius's mirror that he gave to Harry? Cause yeah, similarities. Handheld mirror, magical, and although harry's was for two-way communication, the charlie bone mirror could "bring you right to wherever the person you were thinking of was" and as such brought Charlie to his father. Also, in the harry potter ripoff category, we have charlie hiding underneath a table and a grand dinner party listening to the Bloors talk about (lies, as it turned out) important family history regarding Charlie, and even talk about Charlie a fair bit - since Charlie is one of the main threats to the Bloors. Dude, just like in the third book where harry is in the invisibility cloak listening to Madam Rosmerta talk about James. Same sort of thing, hiding while getting astoundingly important info about - well about their fathers in both cases. They're very similar characters too - the "average" student, but brave and attracts trouble and adventure even though he doesn't really ask for it, also somewhat impulsive and clueless and naiive. Very interesting. But this is a tiresome subject.

Olivia so kicks ass. Emma too. Why can't we see more of them? They're so awesome when we get to hear about them, only we hear about them so little. Maybe this is also a bit my gripe about the lack of girls in this series. Kind of like harry potter where it's mostly male but then you have a couple token girls. And, dude, dumping Olivia and her mother in the kitchen while the boys fought the sorcerer was so not on. I'm not quite so sure I should jump to labeling this sexist, but it sure seemed like it. I understand why they'd want to keep Olivia's mother out of the way - the enchanter put a spell on Charlie's mother and plus her mother is a slight ditz. But dude, Olivia has illusion powers! She could so help in the fight. Although, the other side of this is that maybe Charlie didn't want Olivia to give herself away, as her endowment is, so far secret. But that was not said or implied, so unless someone can come up with a decent explanation for this, a label it a bit sexist.

The incredibly background Asa storyline - very cool, all of it, but barely mentioned, and not gone into deep enough. Why? A very good storyline - dude, one of the key characters changes sides! I honestly think Nimmo should have substituted the Maisie storyline with an Asa storyline. The reason I suppose that Asa saved Emma and then joined the good guys at the end was because, as an animal halfish the time (at night) he felt the "dark chill" I suppose that all the animals felt before they ran away, and so wanted to work to eradicate it. Also, as soon as Mr. Ominous agreed to pretend to be the "person under 20 required for the spell" I knew that Asa was going to come join them at the last minute. Very predictable, but still rather a clever cool thing - that so so could have been drawn out and plotted more. I don't believe Asa says a word in this book. There could have been something - because clearly Asa wouldn't be so down with having to change sides, to change friends etc., so we should have heard more about that. Or, or! He could have even been a morally ambiguous character, which would have been awesome, you know, he joins the circle, (by the way, how awesome and pagan was that spell at the end?) helps their spell, but then goes back to not really being with them, but kind of doing his own thing. Like, I want to get rid of the dark chill but I don't want to help any farther. That would have been way interesting, and the series still could have ended on that note.

Putting the a chapter of the book in Charlie's mother's point of view - very interesting, even though it was just a small chunk, and she was under a spell the whole time. You don't get adults' points of view very much in children's books, for obvious reasons (it's got to be the young person that saves the day, after all.) Makes me sort of wonder how many times it's been done before. Like, I know harry potter would do that for some chapters, but that's not young adult the way charlie bone is young adult (more like children's, I suppose, but it's borderline.)

Ships: Emma/Asa! Fanfiction, where are you? C'mon, Asa saves Emma, and it's really rather cute, even if it's very much for only a minute and he doesn't say anything (he's in beast form). And the whole am-i-good-or-am-i-bad angst. Totally fanfic material, I am telling you. A rewrite of that scene! Where Asa had been saying a few things to Emma throughout the year, and then her questions about his loyalties culminate with that scene, and then they change shape and talk, or something. Could be cool. Charlie/Olivia as usual, and then Tancred/Lysander also as usual (c'mon they even share a chair for a sentence.)

Kids' Books Are Dirtier Than You Think: Ummm.... the only thing I can think here is that Charlie's mother being enchanted by the enchanter brought about some possibly adult themes, though more in the "so I wonder if...." variety than anything textual or subtextual. I think there was something else as well, but I always forget to post-it mark my books, so that'll have to be it.

Goddess of the Night by Lynne Ewing

This is one of my more embarrassing picks for sure. And it just so begs to be made fun of, in so many different ways. Mainly, cause it's just so teen-girly and so appeals to that crowd. But, despite that nagging feeling that I'm just reading another version of a Sweet Valley Twins book, or something, it was actually pretty good. By that I mean strickingly easy to read, and the book just kinda moved along and before you knew it you were done, kinda thing.

I picked this book out cause I was looking for something witchy, interesting, that I hadn't read yet, and this seemed to fit the bill pretty. Whatever, it's hardly literary meritable, but Lynne Ewing knows how to hook you in in that sort of soap-opera-ish way, so that's good enough for me. It's really not a book to be analyzed to anything, let's just put it at that.

Anyway, some good things: the lore, of being a goddess and what it means and how it fits in, and the followers and a couple other terms I forget, was pretty well thought out, by which I mean it didn't make me cringe. In the vampire books, Cirque du Freak, it's this weird convoluted stuff but in this book the lore was integrated pretty seamlessly.

Omg, really liked the character of Stanton. He's the "dark mysterious man" of stereotype except add in the mystical, for this series. Apparently he has a book all his own that Lynne Ewing, so I'll read that eventually. But the whole "I lost all hope and became a follower, except it was because of circumstances I couldn't control, and I seem totally evil except deep down I'm not exactly and I'm betraying and helping both sides and also kinda trying to save my own skin" thing was just nicely integrated. He's a character you for sure want to revisit.

One lame thing: this is soooo stereotypical of these sorts of "I'm normal and then suddenly my world is turned upside down and it turns out I'm a _____" books that I love to read so much, the whole thing where Vanessa "just can't believe" that she's a goddess and what's-her-name Maggie or something must be lying and I must be hallucinating. So that's dumb and stereotypical and drawn out too much in itself. But dude. Vanessa has been aware that she can become invisible for awhile. That's kind of paranormal don't you think? So, why is all this stuff, and quite frankly anything, so hard to believe? I'd be happy, relieved to finally know why I can become invisible. I'd expect it to come with a lot of baggage. Come on, Vanessa. You know it isn't just a genetic trait.

Oh, and P.S.: the amount Vanessa uses the word "molecules" is starting to seriously get in the way. When you're talking about being invisible, don't be too sciency about it, okay, You don't needed to talk about molecules reforming. It's paranormal. Say "her body began to disappear," or something.

Ships: Almost not worth analyzing or looking into since this is a teen book and not a ya book (and teen books cater to an audience that likes to see a lot of romance stuff.) But since this is what I'm here for, we have Vanessa/Michael, mainly. which is omg so soap opera/ trashy romance novel-ish, and would be totally unbearable if it weren't for all the supernatural elements of the book. But the whole "he made her feel like she had never felt before." Yeah, okay. Showing, not telling, where are we? But that's typical trashy romance novel, and so. And I don't mean to keep dissing on it, really it wasn't that bad. But Michael so has no personality. He's just a random "sweet" guy. A character foil, and nothing more, unless it changes in the next book. That's not interesting shippy. That's boring shippy. I think I may add this to my long list of why I like slash so much. But well, teen books are hard pressed to have actual romance, I think.

Okay I am terrible. I swear I actually liked this book. Remember, if I have stuff to rat on the book for, then it means the book was worth talking about. Just remember that, any passing Lynne Ewing fan. Some books I don't have a thing to say, and they simply pass through my mind. I am intensely cynical, can't help it.

Kid's Books are Dirtier Than You Think; Again, not really worth it because this is a teen book, and anything that's not explicit goes. In fact, I can't even think of anything to point out for this section. Because well, it's more like the opposite. Like the book tried to be passively "dirty" (probably wrong word here even) but like totally failed.

Cirque du Freak and The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan

So: a vampire book? a vampire book say what? Erm, yeah. Not my usual genre, but I picked up this series (there's 10 total, and I'm not done) for two reasons: first, I am a huge sucker, and there's a quote by J.K. Rowling on the front. Actually, the same generic quote on the front of every book in the series, but still. It just might be legitimate. The second reason, is that, to my great amusement, I've gotten one of my friends into young adult fiction (yay!) and she read like the first 4 in one sitting, and so recommended them to me. Sure, so I read considerably slower, but I'm getting through them.

So, the premise is that a boy decides to become a vampire in exchange for his friend's life. Nobel guy huh? Especially since the feeling wasn't exactly reciprocated. Pretty good premise I think; sometimes you can tell how good/readable a book will be by its premise. And it is, I mean, it certainly captivates you and makes you keep reading, although in the "wow, but I so have better things to do" way. Ah well. Interesting to see where this goes. Will we get character development? Meh, somehow I doubt it. I kind of see this as a very "series" type of book - leaving it open to as many as the author can write, rather than a set beginning and ending.

The vampire lore. Very intersting, twisted, and kind of wtf-y to tell you the truth. Maybe I'm too used to normal vampire lore, or Buffy-type vampire lore (pretty standard, but also makes sense.) Some of this vampire lore was really kind of contrived in some cases. There are some of the usuals: can't be out in the sunlight, can be killed by a stake (but also a gun, eh what?) and of course drinking blood. But then there's this weird stuff about half-vampires. Um, what? Well, a point for creativity I suppose. See, Darren (btw, why is the characters name the same as the authors? what? It isn't even done well, re: Lemony Snicket. It's just stupid.) is a half vampire, so he can go out in the light. Like, I swear the author put that in just so that Darren could go out in the light. And the whole thing where you need human blood - not just animal blood - or you'll die. Eh. I mean, in Buffy it's mearly that human blood tastes better, but you can survive on animal blood. It doesn't make sense to have human blood required - it's too specific you know? And you can't have the audience thinking too much about the anatomy and biology of vampires, which well, dude guys, these are fantastical creatures. And then the vampaneze: "evil" vampires, who like to call themselves something different. And the thing where drinking human blood till the human dies lets the vampire take the soul. Well, okay, I guess that was kind of cool actually. But I dunno. People have very specific ideas of what a vampire is, and this is weeeeird vampire lore. And for what it's worth I haven't exactly read too many vampire books. Maybe I should.

Oh and you know how vampires are supposed to crawl out of their graves? Darren gets dug out by Mr. Crepsley. Lame! Vampires in Buffy crawl out of their graves like good, normal vampires. Getting dug out by somebody else shows a lack of independence. And vampires are surely known for their independence.

Two things are potentially set up for future plots though: one, the completely mind-numbingly obvious, is that Steve confronts Darren, saying that he became a vampire to spite Steve (cause Steve was the one that wanted to be a vampire but couldn't - he had "bad blood" (uh, wtf?)) and Steve now hates him and wants to kill him, etc. So you know that'll come up. Also, though, I thought his family life, and especially his sister, Annie, is well fleshed out, so I really hope we see them again. Can't just introduce a loving family and leave it at that. I hope we at least see Annie again, in a later book. Very intesting situations with that, I think.

Ships: Hmm, Ezra/Darren is a sort of way. They're "best friends" but there is subtext there if you want to find it. (They sleep in the same tent, and then Ezra is the "snake boy." Let me say no more.) Nothing else in the first two I can think of. Darren's still young, after all.

Kids' Books are Dirtier Than You Think: Ezra the "snake boy" and his pet snake. Clearly this is a sign that I have read too much Slytherin Harry/Draco fanfic, but oh man, you can't escape the dirty here, if you are looking for it. So many bad phrases. I swear I'm not usually like this, but yeah, fanfic. It corrupts (but no one minds.)

The Grim Grotto and The Penultimate Peril by Lemony Snicket

Let me say first off that my trip to LA to see Daniel Handler was amazing, just amazing. And I've finished the End at this point (but it gets its own separate post) and that was amazing. More later on the event though. (Or an ETA here.)

I actually read these a long time ago, and so will have to scour my memory (only doing this before returning to library, you see), but yes, these books are chock full of goodness. The Grim Grotto starts with the Baudelaires going on an adventure in a submarine - looking for that elusive sugar bowl, oh yes - and instead finding a little secret about one of Olaf's cohorts, which made for some very interesting twists and gave the olaf + gang more three-dimensionality, which was cool. Lemony Snicket does play nicely with characters that aren't quite good or evil, just a little or a lot screwed up. And maybe that's what makes them all so endearing.

Also, the introduction of the Medusoid Mycelium. Now, I question said fungus's properties - you sniff, you die - and I even more so question Klaus's unfamiliarity with that word (but you know of couse he trying to impress Fiona.)

Also, Fiona! In the amusing way everyone in these books has one Interest with a capital I, well finally we have a biologist. For a little bit of the book. I rather liked that.

Penultimate Peril: The Baudelaires are in a hotel throughout this book (some people didn't like the book for this reason - but then, people are always looking for reasons to hate the end of a series) that is arranged by the dewey decimal system and owned by a guy named dewey that everyone thought was dead. That pwnzored, yay for the extremely literal portrayals these books are known for.

Also in PP: political commentary via Sunnyisms! I squeed so hard, I can tell you. Sure, so I've taken awhile to catch onto the Sunnyism phenomenon, but there were two in PP I noticed. One in which she says "Dreyfuss" clearly referring to Richard Dreyfuss, but um I'm going to have to look that up later to see why it's funny (can't remember who the guy is exactly.) The other one, however, practically made me jump out of my chair because it was so plain. As in, whoa, and here are Daniel Handler's political beliefs!

'"The verdict of the High Court was to take the expression literally," said the manager, "so everyone except the judges must cover their eyes before the trial can begin."
"Scalia," Sunny said. She meant something like "It doesn't seem like the literal interpretation makes any sense," but her siblings did not think it wise to translate.' (PP, 268)

Now, I may not know a whole lot about history, but I do know that Scalia was a scary conservation supreme court justice and also famous for being a strict constructionist. (Oh AP US History, you are so useful sometimes!) And let's just say that clearly Daniel Handler is not. And I love how there's more of these subtle political undertones as the series goes on. It really bring a nice depth to them. And much squeeing on my part.

Ships: Klaus/Fiona. In a rather screwed up way, lemme tell you. The pairing was far too easy, they didn't have any particular chemistry other than that they were similar ages and read and stuff, and she kisses him once right after betraying him, then leaves. And now, according to lemony snicket she was the girl who "broke Klaus's heart." Er, what? They'd have to like, be together first I really think.

So let's go on to something more exciting. Namely Charles/Sir. Omg, if this is not canon I will eat a t-shirt or a hat or something similarly drastic. Oh man. This is another total squee moment. The only I can't understand is why no one online cares. This is like my pet ship, and I can't even find any fanfic on it! Gah! If no one else will write Charles/Sir fanfic, then goshdarnit, maybe I will. Anyway, I noticed this completely obvious ship as being totally canon in the fourth book when they are introduced (then don't appear again until PP) and after scouring the internets, found one review on Amazon (I read all hundred some, because I was that obsessed) actually agreed with me. Lame! Of course, now there are a few more speculation threads online, but still, not very many (and I have scoured the internets, I have.) Maybe later I'll post links. But anyway, it was simply so obvious in Miserable Mill that they were not just *hackcough* "business partners" and this was even more confirmed in PP. I mean, they're in the same hotel room, they go to the freaking sauna together (just when it's starting to get juicy the scene is interupted. damn), and Charles says "I care about you Sir." The thing is, the amusing thing, is that Sir and Charles are total opposites and Sir is borderline evil. They only stay together cause Charles is a total, well "pussy" I guess, for slang terms. He totally lets Sir walk all over him, and even though he cares for the Baudelaires, he is a total pushover and does what Sir says. It's such a screwed up relationship and they are screwed up characters, but then, so is everyone in the Snicketverse. And it's probably a slight allegory for real life screwed up relationships. Oh, and btw, how do know for positive it's canon? In the Beatrice Letters (which I've only ever skimmed, not read yet), in Lemony Snicket's incredibly long love letter to Beatrice, he writes "I will love you until C realizes that S is not worthy of his love" - among other things of course. See? Canon. Also, this brings me to another point, and that's the general lack of presence of teh gay in young adult fiction/fantasy - and I mean even as subtextually as Charles/Sir. Very, very little of it (and you know I'm always looking for it.) In fact, the only other young adult book I can think of with teh gay is Coraline, by Neil Gaiman. This definitely calls for a longer post sometime.

Kids' Books Are Dirtier Than You Think: The only I can think of here is Klaus eavesdropping on Charles and Sir while they're alone in the sauna together. But he was interupted very quickly, so you see.

Spoilers: Dewey Denouement is dead, oh woe. Only introduced in this book, but still, he was Kit Snicket's husband, and Kit Snicket is Lemony Snicket's sister (he's addressed her before.) And Kit doesn't know by the end of the book, and she'll have to find out.

Burning down the hotel at the end. Wow, just wow. Now, while I certainly would not have done this no matter how many Medusoid Myceliums there are out there, I can see why the Baudelaires did it. And it was a great ending for sure. The Baudelaires, whose lives were destroyed by fire, are now using it as a tool themselves. And the whole thing with the Baudelaires deciding they couldn't be all good if they were burning down hotels, even if it was to save people, that was cool too, in the sense that we're going deeper into their characters. Again with the spectrum of good and evil, and things not being black and white, even though they outwardly appear that way in this series. Also, it prefaced the very clever ending (well, minus Justice Strauss not coming with them, that didn't make any sense) where the Baudelaires end up by themselves with Count Olaf. Similar to hostile hospital here, where their only choice is to end up with their archenemy again. And once you read The End, you really understand why Olaf needed to be there.

Will this work?

Yay, I have just figured out how to do the blogger equivalent of an lj-cut. Except, since Blogger is super lame, not only can I not specify what text the lj-cut should be called, I can't even put the cut only on the post I'm actually cutting, without dumping my head in a giant CSS book (or so I assume.) Click the link for more vitriol because I can. Blogger suuuuuucks. Yeah blogger sucks. The only thing good about blogger is the look and the layout, otherwise it is the most confusing, non-user-oriented site like ever. Did you know an lj-cut is an "expandable post summary"? What the hell, I never would have come up with that myself in a million years. Thanks, blogger, for being so cryptic. If I could come up with anything, I would insult blogger's mother right now. Unfortunately, I can't.

So, point is, expect spoiler cuts from now on. Amazing, I know! But I was feeling so bad for all the people that don't read my blog. So now we have spoiler cut tags. Because I don't want to be responsible for ruining A Series of Unfortunate Events for someone. That would just be a little unfortunate.

ASOUE predictions

So, with any luck, and I very much do mean luck here, I will have finished penultimate peril and The End by the end of today. This is, of course, only if I end up seeing Lemony Snicket today, and there's enough seats left and whatnot. But just in case I do go, which I really hope ends up happening, I need to make predictions. So, here they are, really quick (longer commentaries coming later):

-lemony snicket said, in Newsweek, that 2 characters will die. Hmm. I don't know if these are good or evil characters; hard to remember if he said that or not. So (yay, it's a live or die segment!) my guess is that all the baudelaires will survive. I remember him in an interview describing the ending as "bittersweet" and it can't be that if our main character die. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if it were one of duncan, quigley, or isadora. That would suck yeah, but it is the last book. If snicket wanted to be really evil, I suppose he could kill off quigley just as he and violet finally meet again (if so, I will be disappointed if violet does not kill herself in a romeo-and-juliet type way - I'm kidding, don't worry). Or you know what? It could be kit snicket. Maybe. That would suck as well for the writer, since this is lemony snicket's sister. No, maybe not, specifically because it is his sister, and because he already wrote a letter to his sister embedded in a previous book. I might guess it otherwise. Or, hmm, what about Fiona, her dad, and the cook? Those are minor characters we don't care too much about. Eh, screw it, I don't know.

You know what, I bet Olaf should die. Maybe. Cause how else can this really end, unless Olaf dies or goes to jail (but he won't, as we've seen) ? Otherwise Olaf would keep pursuing the Baudelaires. It might be poetic, or something, if Olaf died but then so did Quigley. So one good thing and one bad thing, which is kind of how all the books are. The events aren't purely unfortunate. They're just not ideal.

Oh, and I bet Hotel Denouement's going to go up in flames before the end the series. Maybe even in PP, haven't finished that yet.

Okay, really should go take my 2 hour nap now, as these lame predictions aren't getting any more creative, and see if I can mostly finish my computer program enough to be able to go to LA tomorrow (since that's really the clincher.)